…you may still want to look up the score, so you can at least pretend to take part in some of the conversations at work tomorrow. (You could learn on Wikipedia moments after the game ended — without ever having to visit a sports or news site — that The New England Patriots won, 28-24 over the Seattle Seahawks.)
By the way: if you’re not fluent in Roman numeral and have managed to avoid the nonstop press coverage, this was Super Bowl 49. (To confuse the numbers thing further, next year will be not be Superbowl L, but Superbowl 50.)
It’s near impossible to avoid the pregame carpetbombing media coverage, though. Come on, you at least heard about Tom Brady’s allegedly deflated balls.
Note: If you don’t care about sports and happen to work in a place where sports is not the universal language, you may already own the noted Onion T-shirt. If so, you’ll want to click on the image above to see a relevant cartoon.
It may also interest you to know that you can listen to Quarterbacks without learning a thing about football.
If you still want or need to take part in a football-watching party (say, at a family gathering), here’s a quick primer on How to Pretend You Know Football.
Remember, it could be worse. You could have been born in another country, where you would have to pretend to know about soccer.
But to get back into your comfort zone, here’s some Onion commentary from almost 14 years ago, that is still relevant today (“Underscoring your team’s inferiority is its choice of colors.“): You Will Suffer Humiliation When The Sports Team From My Area Defeats The Sports Team From Your Area.